Written by Regena English
"The Leather Spinsters Newsletter"
I'm asked all the time by women who are concerned they're not living in God's grace for being unmarried, do God approve of them? As a Christian woman it was only natural for me to consult the bible regarding unmarried women. I found one particular verse that answered the question directly. 1 Corinthians 7:8-9 But I say to the unmarried and to widows that it is good for them if they remain even as I. But if they do not have self control let them marry; for it is better to marry than burn.
1 Corinthians 7:8-9 But I say to the unmarried and to widows that it is good for them if they remain even as I. But if they do not have self control let them marry; for it is better to marry than burn.
Ladies know this, it is not a smudge against you in the sight of God for remaining unmarried. It is most certainly not a sin for choosing to live your life without a spouse intentionally. As with married couples God has guidelines for us to follow so we can fully appreciate and participate in life.
Many have been told by their pastors, and yes even rabbis, that they are living in sin for not marrying or remarrying. This is a lie. In the old testament people were instructed to marry and be fruitful but after Jesus' arrival the instructions were to go minister, there is a great difference.
Even Jesus felt a need to address this issue because He wanted everyone to have a role in the spreading of the news.
Religious leaders have a responsibility to their "flocks" to tell them the truth and not to chastize them for something they may or may not have control over. Single women and men should know it was never meant for everyone to wed and become parents, but it doesn't mean those who fail to do so are sinning anymore or less than their married counterparts for choosing to exist without spouses.
For far too long many single women (and men) have felt like pariah within their own spiritual communities because their fellow Christians thought they were failures and unworthy of God's blessings. There are those churches and synagogues who chose to deal with non-elderly single persons in a shameful and deceitful manner by quietly excluding them from the main populace by forming ministries just for them. The forming of singles' ministries was their way of agreeing with society about people who choose to remain unmarried and be happy. Although its very name would lead one to think its sole purpose is to cater to the special needs of singles, many weren't formed to be a helpful stepping stone for unmarrieds. No instead they are places merely to put pressure on singles to find a spouse so they can share in God's blessings. Keep in mind not all churches and synagogues with singles ministries operate in this manner, but it's apparent many do which would explain the concerns of many in the leather spinster community on whether they are committing a sin by remaining single.
Single ministries for many worship centers are nothing more than dating services for the *hopelessly unmarrieds* who according to their married counterparts need an additional push to find spouses. All in the name of saving their souls of course!
James pointed out the sin of partiality with an parable: My brethren, do not hold your faith in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ with an attitude of favoritism. 2 For if a man comes into your assembly with a gold ring and dressed in fine clothes, also comes a man in dirty clothes, 3 you pay special attention to the one who is wearing the fine clothes, and say to the poor man,"You stand over there or sit down by my footstool," 4 have you not made distinctions among yourselves, and become judges with evil motives?James 2:1-4
Did you know some congregations are required to separate married members from the single ones? Is this the sin of partiality?Why would a place of worship do such a thing to it's members? Are they saying singlehood is a negative marital state to be in, or is it that single people pose a threat to the marriages within the church? This leads me to change the original question from Do God Approve to Do Man Approve, because it's man who have a problem with unmarried persons in their mist not God.
Look, if the members are interested in attending these specialized services designed just for them, to get the Word in an atmosphere conducive to attracting spouses then great. If there's an attitude present within the core of the church or synagogue as a single person you don't belong with the main populace, then maybe you should find a church or synagogue that will not discriminate against you for being unmarried.
Plain and simple discrimination is occurring in worship centers across North America, a popular and accepted form of discrimination no one addresses in public or within worship santuaries. After all, all they're trying to do is help their lowly members find mates and be all God wants them to be, right?
I'll say it again, NO it is not a sin for being unmarried inspite of what you may have been told by your trusted pastor or rabbi. God is the respecter of no person, simply put He uses us all for the betterment of the human race, no one is beyond His grace.