Leather Spinsters Newsletter March 2005 Edition

Leather Spinsters Newsletter

Inside this Newsletter

1. Articles

    B. Forgiveness = Inner Freedom

Everyone seek the key to happiness outwardly
but only the wise know it lies within.!

This month's newsletter is about the renewal of the mind, one way to renew the mind is to set it free from the constraints of procrastination and unforgiveness, two pitfalls that prevent joyful appreciation of being a single woman.


Last year I wrote an article titled: "10 Ways to Kick the Procrastination Habit!" http://thephantomwriters.com/kick_procrastination.shtml

It got a very good response - so I'd obviously struck a chord. Not surprisingly as overcoming procrastination is a perennial sticking point in self growth and personal development.

I thought it was time to look a little more deeply at what is probably the most important reason as to why you procrastinate. One that you're not always consciously aware of.

    What You Resist Persists!

Resistance means that you push against the world so that it pushes back. Some of the related feelings and beliefs of resistance are:

    * stubborness;
    * inflexibility
    * wanting to be right, rather than happy (a very popular one:.)
    * holding onto self limiting beliefs long after they've passed their sell by date.

No one likes being told what to do. We are freedom seeking beings who value our autonomy and independence.

We hear the voices of our parents, teachers, guardians, employers or other authority figures and it reminds us of feeling powerless as children. So we rebel against it.

Except that we may not consciously or outwardly rebel; we have a silent/inverted tantrum instead. We will put off, delay and procrastinate over doing what we've been told to do.

    Relationships and Resistance

Resentment often leads to resistance. In relationships, procrastination is often played out as one member of the partnership tells the other to do something (and repeatedly does so). There's unexpressed resentment because the other partner doesn't want to do it or feels incapable of doing so. Rather than this being expressed openly, they procrastinate over doing the task. Procrastination in this area is often indicative of a relationship where one or maybe both partners' needs are not being met and communication is ineffective. Relationships often falter on the altar of unexpressed resentment, fuelled by resistance and driven by procrastination.

    Self Sabotage

Even when enacting a certain kind of behaviour is beneficial to you, you may still encounter internal resistance to it. You may be less successful, less healthy, less wealthy than you consciously like to be because of a hidden resistance which plays out as self sabotage.

And by the way it makes no difference if the person telling you to do something is you or someone else, the net effect is the same.

So the key is to realise that you are actually resisting, because for many of us, it has been running on auto for so long that we don't even realise that we're doing it.

You know whether what you are procrastinating over is a "coulda","woulda", "shoulda","have to", "need to" etc. And if it is (and it mostly is) then that's fine, just allow yourself to struggle with it, put pressure on yourself and not do it, then release those bonds and let that be okay.

Or decide to do it and just do it.

    Don't Tell, Ask

Telling or exhorting yourself to do something is setting yourself up for failure. The harder the telling (I must do this), the less likely you are to do it or resist it. The telling is a substitute for the doing. All of your energy has gone into the telling, leaving little energy for the doing.

So, if you are procrastinating over doing something, ask yourself to do it. In fact ask yourself if it actually requires doing at

all - or if someone else could do it. The key thing is that you ask yourself kindly and politely. No beating up on yourself!

Whatever you decide, be happy and present in and with your decision. Procrastination is symbolic of an internal war raging inside of you as you vacillate between "shoulding" and "have to", leading to paralysis through resistance. And because the resistance is unacknowledged, it drains your energy as well as any vampire!

Making a decision to let go of the resistance is often all that it takes.

Prioritising, delegating and so on are all good strategies for overcoming procrastination, but without letting go of the resistance, you may well come across hidden obstacles.

Whatever strategy or tactic you decide to use, know that procrastination need not steal your life away or zap your energy - once you recognize where it comes from and how you can neutralize its worst effects.


ŠJulie Plenty helps creatively self employed people prosper by using the Law of Attraction, because they ARE their business. For more self empowerment and Law of Attraction articles, and to sign up for her Life Design newsletter, visit: http://www.self-empowerment-zone.com .


Forgiveness = Inner Freedom

I forgive easily when I remember that there are universal laws, which allow to happen to me only what I create, deserve and is beneficial for my evolutionary process.

I forgive easily when I think that a just and wise Divine Being allowed the other to do whatever he or she did to me.

I forgive easily when I understand that I exist within Divine Plan. That all is happening to me for my long-term benefit.

I forgive easily when I realize that the other is an expression of the Divine with whom I have made a secret agreement to test my faith, love, understanding and inner strength.

I forgive easily when I perceive the other as a soul who behaves in this way because of ignorance of his true divine nature and out of fear and insecurity.

I forgive easily when I remember all of my own mistakes and moments in which I have behaved without love or sensitivity having been mislead by my needs and fears.

I forgive easily when I put myself in the other's position and realize the emptiness, confusion and pain, which lead him to these acts.

I forgive easily when I take responsibility for my reality and remember that only I create in my mind what I feel.

I forgive easily when I need nothing from the other and thus am no longer in a position to be hurt or disappointed.

I forgive easily when I am free from the game of "who is right" and understand that saying, 'I forgive you" does not mean, "You were right", but simply that "I understand you and chose to love you as you are."

I forgive easily when I am liberated from the role of the abused who needs abusers.

I forgive others when I am free from the mistaken thought process, which says, "since I am the victim, the other is the abuser and I am good and the other is evil. I am worthy and he is not.

The victim finds his security and self worth in being victimized, and believes that, if he forgives, then he loses his self-worth.

I forgive easily when I remember Christ's words "Whoever has not sinned, let him throw the first stone."

I wonder then, what right could I ever have not to forgive?

Upon what perfection am I basing my right to condemn?

I think, "He forgave those who crucified him, saying, 'They know not what they do.'" Because he saw them through divine eyes although they remained totally ignorant of their Divine origin.

And when Peter asked him, "How many times should we forgive, Seven times?" Christ answered, "No Peter, not seven times, but Seven times seventy times," In other words - without end.

And when I am truly conscious, I also ask forgiveness from all who I have felt hurt or disappointed by my actions, voluntary or not.

If possible, I seek to correct any wrong that has been done and desire to lessen their pain - if they allow me.

Then I communicate with God, confess my weakness and acknowledge my mistakes and egoism.

Then I forgive myself.

When I forgive all including myself, We then all gather in love In my heart.


Robert Elias Najemy, a life coach with 30 years of experience, has trained over 300 Life coaches and now does so over the Internet. Info at: http://www.HolisticHarmony.com/introholisticcoach.asp

He is the author of over 20 books, 600 articles and 400 lecture cassettes on Human Harmony. Download FREE 100's of articles, find wonderful ebooks, guidance, audio files and teleclasses at http://www.HolisticHarmony.com. His books The Psychology of Happiness and Remove Pain with Energy Psychology are available at http://www.amazon.com


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