By Regena English

This year instead of the usual resolutions, mind you they are the same resolutions you make each year, let this year be different. This year as one of your resolutions limit your exposure to individuals who validate the "old you," the you you're not happy being. To gain confidence, lose weight, learn to drive a car, get new skills for another career, whatever the goals be sure and have like-minded support.

For the record, there are people who have no problems whatsoever in reaching their goals without a support system, are you one of them? If not, keep reading.

Now I know what you're thinking, how can limiting my time with certain people help me? Human beings tend to surround themselves with those who reflect them (like it or not) in some manner. To effectively and permanently change habits and attitudes you must limit exposure to those who reinforces the "old you," those who encourage you to stay in your comfort zone. More specifically, I'm saying to you to consciously choose to be around those persons that possess the qualities (characteristics) you desire for yourself and allow them to positively influence your life. This is called Success By Association (or SBA).

If you want this year to not be like the others, of unrealized goals, you must ask what will you do differently this year to change your situation and reach the goals you set for yourself? Now I'm asking you to use your honest eyes to see if they, meaning your companions and acquaintances, are they helping you towards your goals or away from them?

Please don't misunderstand, I'm not instructing you to drop old friends. No, what I'm saying is establish and utilize support for your success.

Lets say you want to become an eloquent public speaker, spending all of your time with foul mouth complainers will never get you to your goals of becoming a speaker. One way of reaching your dream of being a speaker would be to join an organization like Toastmasters which is composed of, people who are and those who desire to be, eloquent speakers. Another way of increasing your exposure would be to enroll in speaking classes. Both suggestions on becoming a speaker are great ways of befriending others who can assist you in achieving your speaking goals. This is SUCCESS BY ASSOCIATION.

Always ask yourself this question when making life changes, do I have a support system for or against my desired outcome?


Regena English, the editor of The Leather Spinsters Newsletter for happily unmarried careerwomen,

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